14 February 1999 |
This Week's Article: |
This White Man's Burden |
Here is an interesting question for you readers to ponder. Can anyone out there tell me why I, a straight, white, adult, male would rather have been born a woman? Does the answer escape you? The answer is rather simple actually. You see, it's because as a woman, I would have a built in excuse for failure. Now before you go getting pissed off, hear me out. Hear the reasons I have. Then you can choose to be angry or not; I don't care.
In our society, the "powerful majority" just happens to be white, Christian, heterosexual, males, with money. I, had the unique misfortune of being born into this "powerful majority." As such, I am expected to succeed. Further more, as a member of the "powerful majority" I don't have an excuse to fail.
To go any further in this little diatribe, I feel it necessary to first define success. I have given this matter much thought and consideration over the years, as I'm sure most people have. For me, I can break success down into two parts: maintaining a job, and supporting one's family with the income from said job. Now, in this definition, I am taking for granted that the job in question is a legal endeavor. I am also defining support of one's family as providing each member with all of their needs, as well as some luxuries. As for the man's income being expected to cut it for the whole family, one could argue that in today's society, most "successful" households are two income families. I concede this as true. But I add, that should there ever be a time where the money in the house runs low, regardless of whether it is a two income house or one, the burden of society's shame and scrutiny falls upon the man, not the woman.
If I had been born a woman, this same level of pressure would not be present. Sure, some women are expected to succeed. Smart women are expected to succeed. They are expected to be contributors not only to their families, but in some sense, to society as a whole. But what about those women that are "intellectually challenged?" You know, the ones that definitely don't have college in their near or distant future; maybe even those who don't finish high school. Can the same be said about them? Or do we, as society, expect them to be more of the "house wife?"
Now let's change the gender to male. Of course smart men are expected to succeed and provide for their families. This is a no-brainer. But what about dumb men? Using the same definition as above for the "intellectually challenged" woman, what do we expect of the non college bound, possibly even high school drop out male? Well, we expect him to still find a job, keep the job, and provide for his family. The man doesn't have the built in excuse for failure.
In our society, be it right or be it wrong, when a woman fails to be as successful as she may have hoped, society still says, "Well, she's just a woman. What did you really expect?" While this is a blow to the woman's pride, society effectively treats her no differently. But for a man to fail, the reprimand is much more severe. And to be a white, Christian, heterosexual, male, from money, to fail is the ultimate fall.
As a man, I don't have an excuse to fail. I'm expected to succeed, regardless. As a white man, I can't say that the Man kept me down, because I am the man. As a Christian, I am more socially excepted and have more doors open to me than a person of any other faith. It's not like I'm Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, etc. I can't say I didn't make it because I was discriminated against because of my religion. And the same goes for being a heterosexual. I can't say I was discriminated against because I am gay. And then the kicker, I come from a family that has financial means. We're not rich, not by any means. But we are definitely, dead center, middle class. I am the white, Christian, heterosexual, middle-class male; and this is my burden. I cannot fail. Lest I will be labeled a loser. A loser of the worst kind. For I had "everything going for me." And to not make it from where I stand is, to have my name synonymous with, "he threw it all away."
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